Apologies for being away, and making you check the website without reward. Send me a note or make a comment if you would like me to send an email whenever I update.
School has been overwhelming these past few weeks. I have discovered this term that economics=math=someone else's cup of tea. Not only did it get boring, but the problem solving skills needed to do that kind of work are my weakest skill-set. In addition to my struggles with econ, I did a huge amount of group work in my 6 credit Land Food and Community course with some women fresh out of high school. It was a sisyphean effort just to get them to discuss or plan our work; every meeting I tickled, cuddled and spanked them into participation [6 women, all of whom are motivated differently of course]. There were some really bright moments and some progress, but the bulk of the work fell to me and I wound up doing an impossible amount of work in a teeny tiny time frame.
Soooo...the day after I completed our 25 page paper on the state of food security in a Vancouver neighbourhood I wrote my econ final, and most likely failed. Yeah. I think I failed, how mortifying! What's worse, I failed on a stomach-full of pizza pops and gingersnap latte. Why do I eat so badly when I'm stressed? I know my mom would say it's because she's too far away to take care of me, but it seems to me that the times when I most need vigilant self-care, are the times when I am least likely to look after myself. Friday night was the first night since Tuesday that I didn't dream obsessively about editing reports and being chased by beetles. Last night I dreamed that the actress Jennifer Aniston tried to come between me and Gabriel by throwing herself at me, but I resisted, and remained faithful.
On Thursday I went to Restorative Yoga by Candlelight to try and tame my mind-beast. The teacher played new-age om music and we swayed like trees, described rainbows with our arms, stretched, and then settled in for deep relaxation. I woke up to a room-full of women chanting "Shanti, Shanti, Shanti, Namaste, Namaste!" I was so exhausted that I had fallen immediately into a state of frenetic, self-deprecating dreaming instead of focusing my mind in meditation.
MESSAGE FROM BODY: You can't meditate, you need to sleep!
MESSAGE FROM MIND: You can't sleep, you're still thinking!
MESSAGE FROM EGO: Stop it you two! That's enough!
And so I went home and made rice pudding out of last week's worth of take-out rice. It is so easy to make and comforting to eat. Little known fact: rice pudding makes perfect breakfast food (I've been heating it up and eating it with bananas, milk and maple syrup). I've decided to try and slow my racing mind by eating well, sleeping, exercising and getting hugged. I'll let you know how the healthy choices pan out.
Rice Pudding
3-4 cups cooked rice (I keep meaning to try sushi rice, but usually just use whatever is in the fridge)
3 large (organic;)) eggs
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup raisins or dried apricots
2 1/2 cups milk
1tbsp vanilla
1/4 tsp salt (don't skip the salt Marie!)
ground cinnamon and nutmeg to taste
1. Heat oven to 325 F
2. In ungreased oven-safe dish, beat eggs and stir in all ingredients, sprinkle with cinnamon and nutmeg
3. Bake uncovered for 45 minutes, stirring every 15 minutes. DON'T OVER BAKE! Last time I baked it for too long and wound up with sweet eggy rice, it should be quite liquid on top. Let it set for 15 minutes.
Around 200 calories for a 2/3 cup serving according to a similar recipe.
